Towel Talk: A Guide to Fabric for the Uninitiated

Have you ever found yourself adrift in a sea of Bath Linens, flummoxed by the sheer variety of materials on offer? One minute you’re reaching for what you think is a perfectly serviceable Towel, the next you’re being lectured about the virtues of Egyptian Cotton or Bamboo Fibers. It’s enough to make a fellow long for the days of the Roller Towel and be done with it.

Well, dry those tears, because I’m here to guide you through this tangled web of Textile Terminolgy.

• First up, we’ve got your Cotton, the old standby. They say 100% Cotton is the way to go if you want something soft and absorbent. And just like those Mail-Order Suitors, Cotton comes in a variety of Types. You’ve got your fancy Egyptian and Turkish Cotton, soft as a Baby’s Cheek and just as expensive. Combed Cotton is another contender, smoother and stronger, they say, because they’ve combed out all the kinks. Then there’s this new-fangled Zero-Twist Cotton, light and fluffy, but you need one of those new-fangled Tumblers to keep it that way.
• Now, if you’re a frugal sort, they’ll try to sell you on Polyester. It’s cheap and dries faster than a Politician’s promise, but let’s be honest, it’s about as comforting as a burlap nightshirt.
• Speaking of Comfort, Bamboo Towels are all the rage these days, what with all this talk about saving the Planet. They’re like the Fellow who brings his own Lunch to a Banquet- efficient and virtuous, but not exactly exciting.
• And finally, there’s Modal, a relative newcomer to the Towel scene. They say it’s softer than silk and soaks up water like a sponge. I’ll reserve judgment until I’ve tried it myself.

So there you have it, Friend. A brief rundown of Towel Fabrics and their pros and cons. Just remember, when it comes to selecting the right Towel, it’s all about finding what suits your needs and your pocketbook. And if all else fails, there’s always the Shirt off your Back.