The Plumage Pecking Order

Ah, the eternal conundrum of the goose and the duck, those feathered buffoons of the barnyard, forever subjected to the scrutiny of mankind’s pursuit of a good night’s sleep! Is it the goose, with its haughty gait and superior honk, that yields the more desirable down? Or is the lowly duck, that waddling embodiment of comic relief, not without its own humble charms?

The purveyors of fine bedding would have us believe that the goose reigns supreme, and perhaps, in their relentless quest for profit, they are not entirely wrong. Goose down, they proclaim, boasts larger, fluffier clusters, like so many cumulus clouds plucked from the heavens to grace our beds. This, they assure us, translates to a sleeping experience of unparalleled warmth and softness, a veritable cocoon of luxury fit for a king – or at least for those who aspire to sleep like one.

The humble duck, on the other hand, is relegated to the status of a second-class feather producer. Its down, we are told, is smaller, less resilient, more prone to clumping and losing its loft. It is the sensible, economical choice, the workhorse of the down blanket world – but hardly the stuff that dreams are made of.

Whether such distinctions in feather morphology are truly perceptible to the slumbering human form, of course, is a matter of some debate. One suspects that a good dose of marketing hype, like a good dose of whiskey, can work wonders in enhancing the perceived value of any product.